


Some Nonlinear Moments of Lives Lived: Ciri

by lotsofquestionslimitedanswers



Series: Finding Our Missing Pieces [3]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Ciri is tired, F/M, Family Feels, Gen, Geraskifer is in the background this is mostly about Ciri, Good Parent Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Good Parent Jaskier | Dandelion, Good Parent Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rebirth AU, Some angst, T for strong language, it's pretty brief though, mentions of main character deaths are pretty brief, some soft moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24852235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotsofquestionslimitedanswers/pseuds/lotsofquestionslimitedanswers
Summary: A series of moments in Ciri's many lives as she is reborn over and over and over.(Geralt, Yennefer, and Jaskier are also all reborn)You don't need to have read any of the other parts of the "Finding Our Missing Pieces" series to read this.Excerpt:Ciri runs to Geralt. He’s breathing, but not moving other than that. Ciri turns and in the moonlight, she can just barely see the enormous creature in front of her. Geralt told her what it was called, but she has forgotten. All she can focus on is the creature’s open jaw crowded with sharp teeth. Ciri feels her ears ring as her heart races and the creature steps closer and closer to Ciri and Geralt. As it steps closer to Geralt who looks scary but is actually quite kind.Geralt, who takes the time to teach Ciri the best fighting stances and is patient when she messes up time and time again.Geralt, who helps Ciri style her hair to keep it out of her face while she’s in a fight.Geralt, who makes sure Ciri has enough food and water and blankets and clothing and gave her his last clean pair of socks yesterday after Ciri found a hole in one of hers.Geralt, who sings along with Ciri and Jaskier when Jaskier plays music.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Series: Finding Our Missing Pieces [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1750042
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	Some Nonlinear Moments of Lives Lived: Ciri

**Author's Note:**

> Moments when Ciri hates being reborn and going through puberty AGAIN are inspired by a comment-conversation I have with Answrs on another story, "Toss a Coin to Your Witcher" so thank you Answrs for the good idea!:)

Some Nonlinear Moments of Lives Lived: Ciri

** Ciri **

_Approximately 1 month after meeting Geralt and Jaskier_

Nights can be tense like when Ciri and Jaskier are in an inn and Jaskier tries to keep Ciri distracted from the fact that Geralt should have come back by now.

But he hasn’t.

Something terrible has probably (definitely) happened and soon Jaskier will have to leave to go search for Geralt. Which means Ciri will be left in their room in the inn.

Alone.

…

_Approximately 3 months after meeting Geralt, Jaskier and Yennefer_

Nights can be peaceful as the four (Ciri, Yennefer, Jaskier, and Geralt) sit around the campfire and tell stories. Ciri had assumed that Jaskier would be the best storyteller since he’s a bard. She was wrong though. Geralt’s the best storyteller. When Geralt tells a story, he shows a whole new side of him that Ciri had not previously been privy to. He talks in an animated fashion and his hands fly through the air to further illustrate the story through gestures. He smiles wider than he does on a normal day. This must be the Geralt of youth…the Geralt who has not been through the traumatic experience of becoming a Witcher quite yet. Or, perhaps, this is a reflection of the Geralt who _is_ going through the traumatic experience of becoming a Witcher and uses storytelling to cope. Perhaps Geralt told these stories to his fellow young Witchers whenever they had breaks. Ciri would like to ask one day. But not tonight.

…

_Approximately 5 months after meeting Geralt, Jaskier and Yennefer_

Nights can be the worst time of the day. Sometimes Geralt takes Ciri with him to hunt creatures scarier than any of the nightmares Ciri ever had at the palace. Sometimes it’s so dark Ciri cannot see her hand in front of her. Sometimes she gets hurt.

Sometimes—like right now—Geralt gets hurt. Sometimes that’s the worst time…when Geralt gets hurt…and the strong, stoic man Ciri has come to know is reduced to small cries of pain as he holds his side and blood spills out from between his fingers. Ciri is horrified to see that blood also pours from a wound on Geralt’s head. Despite all that, Geralt gets up. Only to swatted away. He crashes into a tree and does not get up.

Ciri runs to Geralt. He’s breathing, but not moving other than that. Ciri turns and in the moonlight, she can just barely see the enormous creature in front of her. Geralt told her what it was called, but she has forgotten. All she can focus on is the creature’s open jaw crowded with sharp teeth. Ciri feels her ears ring as her heart races and the creature steps closer and closer to Ciri and Geralt. As it steps closer to Geralt who looks scary but is actually quite kind.

Geralt, who takes the time to teach Ciri the best fighting stances and is patient when she messes up time and time again.

Geralt, who helps Ciri style her hair to keep it out of her face while she’s in a fight.

Geralt, who makes sure Ciri has enough food and water and blankets and clothing and gave her his last clean pair of socks yesterday after Ciri found a hole in one of hers.

Geralt, who sings along with Ciri and Jaskier when Jaskier plays music. (Geralt tries to be sneaky about it, but Ciri _knows_ that he does it. It’s not _the wind_ that she hears when she dances around the fire near Geralt and Jaskier.)

Geralt, who could _die_ if Ciri does not do something.

The problem is, Ciri cannot think of anything to do. What is her knife going to do against this creature? She can’t remember where she dropped her sword.

Her eyes fill with tears of frustration and anger and fear and sorrow. Her heart feels like it’s about to beat a hole into her chest with the way it’s pounding. She feels a rush of something. Adrenaline? Power? Ciri doesn’t fucking know. Then she screams. She screams louder than she ever has, louder than when the boys tried to take her horse, louder than when she was kidnapped by the man in black, louder than she ever thought she could. Ciri feels a force pour out of her and the beast is thrown back. It lands with a thump and a whimper.

Ciri takes that as her cue to leave.

She grabs her adopted father by the arm and starts pulling his limp form as far as she can go. Even with all her training and newfound strength, it isn’t very far. She starts screaming again, this time out of frustration and there’s nothing powerful about this. She sounds just like what she is: a scared, tired, thirteen year-old girl who is feeling rather helpless at the moment.

She hears someone walking towards her a few minutes later.

“Ciri? Geralt?” Jaskier calls.

“Jaskier!” Ciri cries.

As soon as Ciri sees Jaskier, she runs to him, and throws herself at him, crying. “He won’t get up. Jaskier, Geralt won’t get up!”

Jaskier hugs Ciri tightly and runs a hand through her hair. Then he starts speaking very quickly. “Okay; we’re going to need to get him back to camp. I left Roach and the supplies there. That was stupid. I heard you scream and just ran here. I should’ve brought supplies.” Jaskier hugs Ciri a little tighter and says, “It’s going to be okay though. I promise.”

“Okay,” Ciri whispers.

“Everything’s going to be okay.” Jaskier says again. “Let’s go get Geralt.”

Ciri lets go of Jaskier and leads the way to Geralt.

Jaskier mutters some curses under his breath at the sight of Geralt.

“Are you still certain that everything will be okay?” Ciri asks.

“Of course, I am.” Jaskier says. There’s something fierce and protective in his eyes. Something that only comes out when someone says something bad about Geralt or Yennefer…and when someone says something bad about Ciri.

Ciri doesn’t reply. She just watches as Jaskier pulls Geralt into his arms and starts walking back to camp.

“Come along, Ciri,” Jaskier says.

It’s strange seeing Jaskier carry Geralt like that. It makes sense that Jaskier can carry Geralt because he’s not that much smaller than Geralt. Jaskier usually travels on foot and may not swing a sword, but he does swing his lute when push comes to shove. Those things must build muscle. Though, lately, Jaskier has been sparring with Geralt and Jaskier’s not bad at it. He fights sort of like the way the knights fought at Cintra.

Ciri follows Jaskier to camp and when they get there, she does everything he asks. She fetches water, cloths, Witcher potions from Geralt’s bags after promising never to touch them without permission. At one point, Jaskier tells her to tend to Roach and Ciri knows why as soon as she hears soft sniffles coming from where Jaskier sits in front of Geralt. She turns to see Jaskier holding his head in his hands as his shoulders shake.

Neither Ciri nor Jaskier gets any sleep that night. Geralt is out of commission for three days. Then he gets up and they leave the camp. Ciri hopes they never come back to this dreadful place.

…

_Approximately 7 months after meeting Geralt, Jaskier and Yennefer_

Night can be fun as Yennefer teaches Ciri how to dance. Jaskier plays music and shouts pointers. Yennefer tells Jaskier to mind his own business unless he wants to teach Ciri instead. Jaskier jokes that he would except he knows that Yennefer is a rubbish lute-player, so it would not be fair to Ciri if Jaskier and Yennefer switched jobs. Yennefer makes a rude hand-gesture at Jaskier and Ciri giggles. Jaskier makes it back at Yennefer. Ciri looks at Geralt who is watching the scene, smiling.

…

_Approximately 9 months after meeting Geralt, Jaskier and Yennefer_

Nights can be tough. All four of them have nightmares. The nights when none of them wake up crying are few and far between.

…

_Approximately 10 months after meeting Geralt, Jaskier and Yennefer_

Nights can be miserable. Nights can be cold. _Ciri_ is freezing even though Ciri and Yennefer and Geralt and Jaskier are all huddled together for warmth. Usually, under circumstances like this, Yennefer would conjure a magical tent, but after a fight with some Nilgardian soldiers that left Jaskier with a broken hand, Geralt with a slash down his middle, and Yennefer with a broken ankle, Yennefer ended up depleting a lot of her magic to heal their injuries.

They can’t even make a fire because Geralt says the soldiers are too close. So, here they are, trying to sleep because they all need it, but unable to because they’re too cold.

…

_Approximately 21 years after meeting Geralt, Jaskier and Yennefer_

Nights can be lonely. Like, after Yennefer dies and Ciri is left all alone. Well, not completely alone. Ciri has ridden Roach since Geralt died last year. She also has Jaskier’s lute and she has played that since he died for the second time three years ago. But she can’t talk to a lute. She can talk to Roach even if she doesn’t know what Roach is saying in return. At least she has Roach though.

…

_Approximately 28 years after meeting Geralt, Jaskier and Yennefer the first time_

Nights can be painful. Like when Ciri finds Jaskier who has been reborn again. This time though, he’s only six years old. She wouldn’t have recognized him if it weren’t for his big blue eyes and the intense stare that he fixed on the lute that Ciri has carried with her for seven years now. It’s strange being so much older than one of her two father-figures. She was older than him the last time he was reborn, but Jaskier didn’t look any different when he was reborn that time, so it was easy to forget how old he was and how old he should have been.

This time is different.

Ciri is forty-one—the age Jaskier was when they met the first time—and she feels woefully unprepared to deal with this situation. But, she does her best. Just like Geralt did for her. Just like Jaskier did for her. Just like Yennefer did for her. Ciri owes it to them—all of them—to take care of this tiny Jaskier now.

But it’s painful.

It’s _so_ painful. Ciri spends many nights crying because she’s homesick for people who are gone and will probably never come back. (If Geralt and Yennefer haven’t been reborn and found Ciri by now, they probably never will.)

Jaskier doesn’t even remember who Ciri is. He doesn’t remember anything about their family until he turns eighteen. Then it hits him all at once and they cry together.

…

_Ciri: Age 56_

Nights are bitter.

Or maybe it’s just Ciri who’s bitter.

Because right now, bitter is all Ciri can feel as she bleeds out after a hunt gone wrong. She’s a Witcher, so she isn’t surprised that this is how she meets her end. She just wishes she could have found Yennefer and Geralt again. She’s not even sure that they’ll ever get reborn. Maybe it’s just Jaskier who will get reborn. Over and over and over.

Poor Jaskier. He’s going to be all alone without Ciri. Destiny can be so cruel sometimes.

…

_Ciri: Age 13 (for the second time—as if one time wasn’t bad enough)_

Nights can be terrifying. At least that’s how Ciri feels when she wakes up in her thirteen-year-old body just days after she died. She knows it was days because Jaskier told her it was. Jaskier spent four days camped near Ciri’s corpse just in case she came back to life. She did. She’s not entirely sure what Jaskier would have done had she not come back to life, so she’s glad that she did.

Jaskier explained to Ciri that he’d waited for her because when he died and came back to life, it was terrifying to wake up so alone and disoriented. Ciri still feels terrified and disoriented, so she can only imagine how scary it must have been for Jaskier to not have someone there with him to explain everything. Twice.

All Ciri can think is that she has to go through puberty again and she must relearn all of the skills she learned from Geralt and Yennefer. How can she do that without them around? How can she protect herself and Jaskier if she’s stuck in this thirteen-year-old body?

In the words of Geralt: Fuck.

…

Nights can be exciting.  
Like the first time she held a sword (before she fully understood what it meant).  
Like the first time she held hands with a girl.  
Like the first time she saw fireworks.  
Like the first time she kissed a girl.  
Like the first time she saw a play.  
Like the first time she went for a drive in an automobile with the windows down and felt the wind in her hair.

Like the first time she and her family went to a drive-in movie theater. Geralt let Ciri drive them there, so Ciri was in the driver’s seat. Geralt rode shotgun. Jaskier and Yennefer sat together in the back. Jaskier talked the whole time. Yennefer threw popcorn at him. Geralt and Ciri exchanged amuse looks and rolled their eyes. Jaskier and Yennefer fall asleep in each other’s arms on the way home. Ciri looks at Geralt who’s watching Jaskier and Yennefer with such a loving expression on his face, it makes Ciri want to cry a little. She’s sixteen **_(again)_** and she knows kids whose parents do not get along at all. That is not the case in her family. She has a mom and two dads. For all the energy and chaos that Yennefer and Jaskier bring to their relationship, Geralt is there to mellow them out. **_Usually_**. Sometimes he’s just as wild as the other two, so either Yennefer or Jaskier has to take a turn being the calm one. Ciri cannot imagine loving someone for as long as Geralt and Yennefer and Jaskier have loved each other, but she’s glad that she got to witness this love of her parents because it’s a beautiful thing. And she knows they love her too. **_So much_**. They give up so much for her in every lifetime all because they love her and want to have her in their lives. They could go off on their own—just the three of them—but they don’t. They look for her every time because they love and miss her just as much as she loves and misses them.

…

Nights can be pleasant.  
Like when Ciri who is nine-years-old (and tired of always coming back as a child) sits in her room and makes a Mother’s Day card for Yennefer.  
Like when Ciri, who is ten-years-old (and still tired of it because she knows puberty’s coming and uggghhhh) sits in her room making a Father’s Day card for Geralt and a Father’s Day card for Jaskier.  
Like when Ciri, who is eleven-years-old (and forever angry that she has to undergo puberty again) sits with her hands out so Geralt can paint her fingernails. Some people in this time like to color to relax, Geralt likes to paint things. He paints his own nails and Jasker’s and Ciri’s and Yennefer’s and Roach’s (who is a chocolate lab). He paints the walls in the two-story house that has a room for everyone (although Ciri knows that Yennefer, Geralt, and Jaskier usually sleep in the same room.)  
Like when Ciri, who is twelve, helps Geralt paint the kitchen sea-green.  
Like when Ciri, who is thirteen, sits on the couch with Roach’s head in her lap. Yennefer sits beside Ciri. Geralt sits beside Yennefer. Jaskier bounces on the trampoline beside the couch. The four watch tv together and Ciri ends up falling asleep feeling safe and warm.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm @lotsofquestionslimitedanswers on tumblr and I post my work there too.  
> Thank you for reading!  
> Please let me know what you think!:)


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